I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
