new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
