i don't like sucking hair
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
