Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
