As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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