Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
