not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
