I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
vagina is talking i cant
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
