No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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