I hope mine doesn't look like that
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
