Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
