I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize