we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
