I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i out mim tonsoeep
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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