It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
