my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
