hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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