my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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