woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
