why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize