I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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