Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
