I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize