so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
