She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
