just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i came on her dog
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
