No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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