Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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