his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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