fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
