Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
