and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
