She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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