She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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