You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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