Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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