My balls are so social today.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
