I just saw a hot homeless man
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
