perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
