I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
