return my video game
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize