You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
