he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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