How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
