Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How external is "for external use only"?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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