9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
