Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
