idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
