hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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