areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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