Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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