what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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