It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
