what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
