He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
