all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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