I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
we should paint friendship bongs
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