I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
