i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dicks are not precious.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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