You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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