beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
