Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
