tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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