i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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