So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
