two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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