Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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