Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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