I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
