i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
